Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts

Monday, January 21, 2019

Not Lost in a Crowd...

Here are some social observations I have put together in a little post for you...
Not Lost in a Crowd...



I am dying very slowly, despite the numerous anti-smoking advertisements put out by everyone and their mother about how harmful "it actually is."  It was said that "addiction" to evils like this happen because one is trying to fill a void...

And here's the actual TED video, that video was based on --->
https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong

I have felt lonely ever since I can remember.  There are few and far between times when someone actually validates what I am thinking.  At the same time, I am surrounded by a lot of others hypocritically advocating "being true to yourself," that "leaders are unique," that humans should be there for one another because "we're all in this together," etc., but when put into practice, I still feel mostly loved from a distance and shunned in reality.  Conversely, when I try to reach out to others, they mostly don't accept or reciprocate very well (it is all just a show, as consistently, nothing ever really gets put into practice).

Why is this?
Am I truly a horrible person that people would rather see off the face of the Earth?  Is that actually what the human race is coming to?  Or more so, why are others so scared by someone who is genuine?  And why are genuine people so few and far between?
...Must lead to vulnerability.  And unfortunately, that can be seen as a weakness.  So awful as to why, though.

So to start simply, we will use Facebook as the seed of all growth here.  Why?  -Because what do employers look for, before interviewing you?  -Your social media.  It comes up on any un/paid search on you.  (Which is why using screen names that don't relate to your professional/real name are best at times.)  Besides, the more you put yourself before the public, the more well known you become, and what are we talking about here?  -Loneliness, filling a void, self-worth/value, friends, popularity, validation... the underbelly of social politics.

popularity
Picking this apart further, it leads to questioning the magic of popularity.  For instance, I have observed in virtual reality platforms that whenever such things as costume contests are done, the winners will most likely be the ones who are the most popular... Not the ones who spent the most time, effort, or money into their costume.  However, it is also important to note that engaging with the nearby avatars during the contest will not increase your chances of winning.  This trust must be something that has been built up and cultivated over a long period of time.

Now, on FB, I had a little over 200 friends in about 10 years.  At first, I thought I should only friend people that I actually knew or met personally, which would likely go towards character and reputation.  However, of these 200 or so friends, only about 10 of them are on at any given time to respond to posts ... Or perhaps 30 are on, but posts likely get ignored because they don't understand or appreciate unique snowflakeness (when one posts a "story" you are actually able to witness this).  Seems people would rather subject themselves to the simplicity of memes and pictures than a few sentences of real-life sharing/writing.  The others have more likely given up on FB because their social media interaction has been stunted by similar situations.  And then there are others, with a significant amount of more friends, that haven't been shown your post.

The algorithm seemed rather BS to me, and related a bit to "Fahrenheit 451" (in the matter of not educating the people, leading to more gullibility) or the actual purpose of slave songs (in the way that something more righteous will go on right under your nose and you will never know it because you are too busy playing into being an oppressor of power).  However, being shown certain posts also relates to how one views their feed ("top stories" by default, or "most recent").

It is also important to note that sometimes, not posting for quite a while, can lead to more interaction, but can also become very frustrating, because it's not always predictable.  Which also goes to answer why firing off mostly useless memes became so popular, "Here's some for the discard pile, maybe some will like that, but now, here's my real post... Hope my bet to post that in the right order was correct, so someone will finally interact with me."

Or more likely, a give up of anything "real," and just a profile that posts memes.  It has come to that.  We are so protective of actually sharing our real lives, that now we feel we have to represent ourselves with metaphorical, but harmless memes.  "I didn't make it, I just posted it, you can't blame/punish/shun me," because there is no accountability (or legacy) in being fake.

Tarot cards

Upon further observation, those with a significant amount of 500 or more friends, have more responses to their posts.  You can ask them how they got so many friends, but they will never admit how they actually did, because it's possibly very likely, theirs to covet/have, alone.  Apparently, it's really that embarrassing to "be so desperate for attention that you'd add anyone and everyone."  Their answer is always roundabout ways of saying, "I'm that successful," or, "friends from school," or some such.  Which lead to Google searches such as how to increase likeability and popularity on FB (yes, there's actually a page you can go to, to add random friends).  I thought it odd at first, to do such a thing.  What with all the spam, viruses, and scams out there.  But then I thought that if I can have friends from all over the world in Second Life, why not give real people a chance on FB?  ...So before I die, let's see what the human race actually can offer each other.  "Team Human," after all.

Just use a little education when doing so, here...
My profile is private, some posts are public, but most are just for friends.  There's a reason for that.  I don't want to be judged too harshly by the wrong person without a chance to defend myself.  Now, the people I will let in, have to be real people who may be able to relate in some way or another.  So, those friends whom I add, include those with a bit of a developed profile...  Meaning, a picture, some posts, some background information, etc.  ...Although, there's also a tiny experiment going on with profiles that aren't exactly top tier of all that, I'm giving those people a chance to see "how great life can be on FB" and to develop themselves, as I feel like everyone should get a fair shake.

As a last resort, at some point, one can always go through their friend's list and thin it out to "the cream of the crop."  There's a limit of 5k friends anyway, and in this instance, one should always like to give their profile a chance to make connections with others.  Also, one can always set their profile to "follow" in extreme situations where you do not want to delete any of your friends.

All it took was a few friends, and then requesting their friends, before I started to get a large number of new requests, typically every 30 minutes, especially at night (perhaps because creative people are up during odd hours, or perhaps because people willing to do this are on the other side of the globe).

What also came with that were people who would call me randomly, or post things on my profile, or post interesting/questionable comments on my posts...

1) You always have the power to decline calls you are not ready for.  ...Although you should note that if you talk to ppl on Messenger, they will then take the liberty to think they can call you at 3AM/repeatedly until you answer - to which, there is NO way to silence your phone to this, other than turning off all sounds the phone makes (believe me, I've tried)... The only thing that seems to work is to not respond or participate in Messenger converations, unfortunately.  If I find another remedy, I will update.

2) The way you answer a post on your profile should acknowledge them, but respectfully advocate your perspective as well.

3) The comments can be responded to in the same manner as #2, but you also have the power to delete posts that get too out of hand.  ...However, it is also important to note how you affect other's thoughts and consider modifying your behavior based off of other's reactions.  You will likely figure out what was a faux pas, based on the responses you get.  But always keep in mind other cultures and maturity levels, not everything you post is wrong, but the mirror of other's responses can be interesting.

Hope
For the most part, everyone seems great.  When Messenger allows, I wave to all new friends, letting them know I am a real person that is there for them.  From the new feed, I am learning and connecting with all kinds of people from all over, and I have not lost control.  I do not forget those close friends who are there for me physically, but now I have opened the doors of opportunity to reach a bigger crowd.

I will be heard.
Others will be heard.
The human race will be validated once again.